According to the Oxford Dictionary, beauty is a combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight. This definition indicates that there is no set or prescribed formula for determining what is considered beautiful. Beauty is relative and is determined in the mind of the one making the observation. What is beautiful for one person may be unpleasing to the eyes of another. 

For a very long time there has been a skewed idea of what true beauty is. I am not sure that there is any definite answer for that age old question but one thing that is certain is that over the years the definition has been rewritten and has somewhat become tainted by the North American perception.

You see, there is a blueprint for what society considers beauty to be. This, highly influenced by media and the entertainment industry, has led to an almost brainwashing into believing that certain features and physical attributes are more beautiful than others. Things such as the shape of a nose, the length and texture of the hair, body size, skin color etc., are a few of the implied or expressed determining factors.

For women, one of the main indicators of beauty or factors that play a vital role in the overall appearance package is – you guessed it - HAIR. The very Bible alludes to the woman’s hair as her crowning glory, essentially her pride and joy. All my ladies can attest to the fact that no matter how clean and well put together your outfit is, if your hair is not on point, then the whole look will come up short.

Beauty, as it relates to hair, transcends length, texture, volume or color. Stereotypically, though, in order to look beautiful, we’re taught one ought to have long hair cascading down her back. Also, we’re told it should be a silky texture. I would not seek to totally blame the entertainment industry for creating this image of beauty, but there is undeniably a correlation between this implied standard and the desire of a great number of women to prescribe to it.

Weave: a A Multi-Billion Dollar Industry

The hair extension industry is a multi-billion dollar industry and its success is an indication that many women are not totally happy with the hair that grows out of their scalp. Don’t get me wrong, I am by no means bashing weave or extension wearing. How could I when I myself on occasion do wear them? The danger, I believe, lies in the development of a mentality that if your hair doesn’t flow all the way down your back, then you are not beautiful.

That state of mind can be very self-destructing as it is an indication that self-love and self-worth are tied primarily to physical appearance. I don’t know which female doesn’t like to dress up and look all pretty. We all do, but the moment it begins to consume us, that is the sign of danger. I believe that even though a woman may prefer long hair, and chooses to wear it all the time, she should also love and embrace who she is underneath all the hair. This is why the liberation that comes with doing a“ big chop” is so evident. You pretty much bare it all and come to an appreciation of your true physical dimensions, those which you may not have noticed throughout your life.

The misguided view of beauty is also evident among naturals. There is a hierarchy – many attribute to Andre Walker, Oprah Winfrey’s stylist and the creator of an alpha-numeric hair typing system, that somehow ranks naturals based on their hair texture. The girls with the curlier, wavier texture (Types 2 and 3) tend to enjoy more notoriety in the natural hair community, while their kinkier, coilier counterparts (Type 4) are somewhat under the radar.

The natural hair product industry has contributed to the exaggeration of this fact by opting to use mainly girls with curly hair textures to promote their product lines. The reasoning behind such action can only be assumed but one cannot help but deduce that such textures are viewed as being more beautiful. Beauty however, transcends hair, it transcends curl pattern, texture and length.

Naturals, Learn Your Texture!

Naturals should embrace the texture that grows out of their head and not get caught up in striving to achieve another person’s texture. Too often, naturals become caught up with the business of hair-typing and spend their time and effort seeking to achieve a texture that does not naturally grow out of their scalp. Effort should, however, be spent learning your own texture, what works best for it and what styles best complement your existing beauty.

Note, there is nothing wrong with employing ways and means of achieving softer and more manageable hair. In fact, it would be remiss of me to go there with my conversation knowing fully well that my favorite way to wear my own hair is in a twist out, which gives it a curlier or wavier appearance. I am referring, however, to ladies who detest their own strands so much they call it ugly, rough, dry etc. I do not believe that long hair, or curly hair is the single most important definition or indication of beauty.

Internationally acclaimed beauty icon Lupita Nyong’o has helped to crush that viewpoint, having been named and recognized as one of the most beautiful women in the world. She neither sports long hair nor is her hair texture curly or wavy. Her confidence in who she is and her desire to set her own standard of beauty has allowed her to become independent of the stereotypical measure of acceptable beauty.

Society should not dictate the expressions of beauty. If we first love ourselves, then we would be better able to accept our physical attributes for what they are. I am so proud that an unprecedented number of naturals are embracing their roots and making a bold statement that they no longer have to live by the dictates of what society prescribes as beauty. We are yet to overcome the challenge of accepting that genetically we all are different and as such our features, including our hair, will be different. I wish we would let it go, and rid ourselves of this mental prejudice which esteems one hair type over another.

We need to redirect that energy into becoming more creative with our own hair, learning what works best for it and what works against it. Let us adapt a more sensible, well-rounded, meaningful approach to life and let go of the confines of a shallow way of thinking. With the right focus, there can emerge a better world, a better society, a better community, and a better you.

Candie's Natural Hairnamix was birthed a few months after Jamaican native Rossette "Candie" Allen began her natural hair journey in May 2010. She gears this column toward naturals, transitioning naturals, aspiring naturals and the naturally curious, sharing experiences, expertise and experiments while celebrating emancipation from chemical slavery.