I sat there in my pew not sure of what to think or say. The Senior Pastor of our church had just resigned for infidelity and the landscape of the congregation would forever be changed. Still, it was too early to imagine what that change would look like but there was no doubt it would affect the attendance. It was a complete shock to many. Disappointing. Angering. Puzzling. Many dropped jaws.

Why? When? How? And with who???

I was 17 years old when I first experienced a clergyman leave for acts of moral failure. At 17, I watched the teary-eyed non-denominational preacher of our 1,000-ish member church confess before the entire congregation that he was unfaithful to his wife (with his wife sitting there next to him) and would be stepping down as Senior Pastor. As a teen, I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I was disappointed because I had just come from another church that had split in half also from the failing of one of the leaders. In that church, the co-leader also stood before the congregation and emotionally apologized in tears.

Fast forward to April 2014, it’s apparent I should be used to this by now. A sad statement. The enemy wins another battle. But there has been this bitter undercurrent of critics claiming that Calvary Chapel Ft. Lauderdale needs to learn to not put preachers on a pedestal. And that is a valid point. I'm sure there are congregants that have placed Bob Coy as their object of faith and this is the best thing for them.

As for me, I never had that problem.  As a teen, I didn’t put the leaders on a pedestal. Only the celebrities on MTV. Kidding...sort of...And today, I still don’t place pastors on pedestals. Their failure doesn’t change the character of the Lord.  It won't stop God from giving man gifts to teach and preach. He knew the Apostle Peter would act as a hypocrite among his fellow Jews when He commanded him to go and make disciples. And He knew Bob Coy would commit sexual immorality. How we respond to it will show us who we are. So what happened?

The Announcement

On April 3rd, 2014, we're in the main sanctuary for a "family meeting" but Spoiler alerts have already been doled out. My wife and I knew why we were attending so this seemed to be a spiritual funeral of sorts. It was somber, quiet and the cafe was closed so I couldn't get my coffee. Mind you, I had been here before several years ago, so my mind is racing.

"Will Pastor Bob show up in front of tens of thousands? What will be shouted? Will he be scorned? Will people cheer?" I don't know, this is unprecedented for this 30-year-old, 20,000-member church.

Lined up on the stage were several co-pastors who have also taught in the main sanctuary throughout the years. I'm still waiting for Bob to emerge from the backstage door. Nope. Pastor Stephan Tchividjian takes out a letter that Pastor Bob apparently wrote and read an apology that gave me mixed feelings, Pastor Fidel Gomez implored the congregation to press forward, and Pastor Pedro Garcia closed out.

The letter disappointedly resembled the world, to me. But could I have stood in front of a football stadium-sized group and uncover myself before them? Would I even be able to speak with my embarrassing sin filling me up with grief and guilt? Lord knows I have some ugly past sins that are ultra-embarrassing. I could probably muster the strength to confess before my close ones, but in front of a mass of humanity?

Several passages come to mind when I think of the aftermath that featured several congregants and former-congregants pulling out their Biblical light sabers to begin a mud-slinging fest.

It was easy to select a scripture that supports your position and wield it like a Jedi Knight in this intergalactic battle taking place on Facebook and Twitter Land. Peanut Galleries versus Little Rascals. Pharisees versus Fast Forgivers. And young Christians caught in between the cross-fires. Everyone had their arsenal of scriptures.

            Among the many of the passages spouted were:

1st Corinthians 5:11 --But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.

The Truth: Pastor Bob Was "Outed" for Sexual Immorality

Today, Co-Pastor Chet Lowe disclosed more details in a heartfelt passionate sermon, further shedding light on the matter. The rest of the story is: Pastor Bob committed adultery and struggled with sexual immorality. He was confronted in Prophet-Nathan-to-King-David fashion. He confessed his sin and repented. You can entertain the conspiracy theories from there. But pay attention to the verse, he is not someone who "claims to be a brother.” He is, presumably, a brother. This is different from an unrepentant person making excuses. And Pastor Bob resigned making the point moot. He is gone.

1st Timothy 5:20 But those elders who are sinning you are to reprove before everyone, so that the others may take warning.

This verse was brought up in the same sermon by Lowe. Though Pastor Bob did not show up, the curtains were still opened, albeit a week later. At this point, it's unnecessary. Pastor Chet's full disclosure of what happened completely silenced the entire congregation, campuses across South Florida and radio. The proverbial pin drop could be heard. But the lesson was learned--Fear God and move forward.

I can't pretend to know what the thinking process was for the church leaders to keep Coy from the public apology. In hindsight, it may have been for the better only because a former-parishioner Joseph Lafontaine recorded the entire meeting in covert cellphone camera fashion which ended up in the hands of the media. Imagine a blubbering Bob Coy on TMZ courtesy of the hidden camera.

What's Wrong With These Critics?

Then came the critics who are looking for blood. But the problem I have with this crowd that believes Calvary Chapel is covering up a Vatican-like scandal is:

            1. They are not interested in Bob's repentance.

            2. It wasn't the public spectacle they anticipated so these critics felt robbed and cheated.

            3. They have no problem with the sin of gossip. They will approach and rile everyone about the handling of the issue except the very leaders they criticize.

            4. Different accounts taking on the status of rumors and urban legends about what happened when nobody really knows what exactly happened except those who were there.

            5. "Sources" that do not have the courage to step forward but are comfortable with spreading rumors.

            6. They do not even attend the church.

            7. They provide no evidence.

We can't conveniently ignore other passages:

 

Matthew 18:15-17 “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.”

 

Pause! What if Bob had repented after this step? Would it have been necessary to move onto step 3 in verse 17?

 "And if he refuses to hear them, tell IT TO THE CHURCH..."

 

James 5:16 "Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much"

 

Psalms 103:12 - As far as the east is from the west, [so] far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

 

It's obvious with this pattern of verses and many others that the purpose of confession is healing and restoration (however long that takes). So for those that question the sincerity of the fallen pastor, I would question their motives for insisting a public show to further embarrass the man. It was powerful to see Pastor Chet lay it all out and describe how the Pastoral staff literally grieved and were at a loss for words on HOW to move forward. What better place than to start with the Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth--the BIBLE.

There is no excusing sin. It must be addressed, otherwise it will leaven the whole lump (Galatians 5:9). Teachers and preachers are held to a stricter judgement. I get it. I'm also not going to dismiss the positive impact Pastor Bob Coy had on the many in the flock. It was sad to hear stories of people weeping in the restroom because they heard the news a week later. The man wasn't just a preacher to a lot of folks. Have you ever lost a friend who gave in to his/her lustful desires?

My Personal View of Pastor Bob

My personal thoughts on Pastor Bob?

- He's always had a smile when I bumped into him.

- He was unwittingly used by the Lord in the lives of both my wife and I.

- The Lord USED HIM to lead COUNTLESS people to the cross. How can we possibly judge him mercilessly without taking that into account, especially if he is humbled? Even if only a small percentile of that group were true converts, that's a lot more than what many of us can say.

- He baptized my wife and I in the Sea of Galilee in Israel in 2010.

So Pastor Bob is more than just some famous funny preacher on a stage to me. And now that he and his heartbroken family are in the darkest hour of their lives, I see no need to kick him while he's down. Leaders don’t fall into sin because suddenly their congregation is a mega-church and multi-campus juggernaut. They sin because they entertained and surrendered to temptation.

I will say to the many, including myself, who are a little disenchanted with the cookie-cutter, seeker-friendly mainstream church that, in ways, have distanced itself from the reflection of the first century church we long to emulate:

I’ve seen failed leadership from a small-size church, to a mid-size church to a mega-church. The size of the building didn’t matter. So the answer is not running to another church or home group (unless there is obvious heresy) because you will always find people capable of sin. The answer is not to tear down but to build up. The purpose of "judging" among Christians is seeing how we can HELP, not seeing how we can further hurt the hurting (Thank you Dr. Tony Evans). Love hopes all things and loves bears all things (1st Corinthians 13). Why is the love from many of us toward "moral failures" conditional and why does our forgiveness come with expiration dates?

This current tragedy feels like someone died, but it is going to expose those who are there for the "Celebrity" Pastor and those who are there wishing to "not forsake the assembling of ourselves together" (Hebrews 10:25). It was already apparent the following Wednesday when the usually half-filled sanctuary was so packed that people were sitting on the carpet. The pastors came out and prayed. They were broken. There was worship and singing. And there seems to be hope for a new beginning that will glorify the Lord even more than the former. This had to happen to shake people up. We are living in the last days. Mourn and move on because the battle continues; the prowling lion is relentless.

Cue in the self-righteous Christian who re-activates his/her light saber for one more blow:

For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted. - Matthew 23:12

Pastor Bob's Prophecy of Disappointment Fulfilled

True. But I didn't get the sense Coy exalted himself. I could be wrong because I can't read minds or hearts but Pastor Bob constantly reminded us that this was not about him. He would hope, if he weren’t around for any reason, that the church would continue without him. And finally, he gave this haunting warning a while ago to really shake off any temptations to "exalt" him:

"One day I'm going to disappoint you."

                Wow. In context, what a breath-taking self-fulfilling prophecy. But God had made him and the self-righteous critics a promise in return though,

"...He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." - Philippians 1:6

The self-proclaimed Zig Ziglar of rap, Billy Delgado, is a Music Producer/Artist and Writer by day and sleeping pillow-drooler by night.  He still can't believe he's a family man with a beautiful wife Mari & three boys Chris, Nelson and Joshua, so he continues to pinch himself silly to this day. He is a member of Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale.