I read a funny article this week about a pair of tortoises in an Austrian zoo that have been together for a mind-blowing 115 years and are now divorcing. The female tortoise Bibi has been attacking the male tortoise Poldi (insert joke here).

Tortoises mate for life, from what I understand, but I think she may be throwing in the...shell??

Ok, ok. I know it's ridiculously cheesy. I'm a bit of a geek (just a bit), so maybe something like this wouldn't be worth paying attention to at first glance. I guess I'm seeing a bigger picture here, so bear with me.

The whole thing, as trivial as it may seem, got me thinking about commitment within relationships in general. The importance of it, the difficulty in it, and the choices we make daily to maintain it. Maybe, when one hears the word, one's mind immediately goes to commitment within a marriage. Commitment, or the lack thereof, within marriage is definitely worthy of conversation, especially with divorce being so commonplace in our society today.

But there are so many relationships we are party to in life - family, friendships, career, etc. There are so many instances in which commitment is tested. How do we keep our important relationships healthy? How do we not only maintain but also allow all relationships to flourish?

Let the Word dictate what "The Norm" is

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will." -Romans 12:2

In many cases, if you are pursuing a relationship with God, you can't rely on society's norms to point you in the direction you want/need to go in. Our "normal" will change once we begin walking on the path toward Him. It seems we live in a 'please me' kind of world. If it feels good, it must be right, and the quicker I can get it, the better. However, if pleasing God is our goal, we must know what His guidebook says. My standard on how to deal with those closest to me (and even strangers) must come from Him, not from what the media, social networking, and similar sources say. To know how to go about any relationship, you've got to know what He says is and isn't okay. Know God's Word for yourself. Hide His words in your heart and get to know Him so you know what He wants. Then, in turn, you will, be able to be a true reflection of Him in all important relationships.

Pursue Peace

"Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy..."

- Hebrews 12:14

"Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it."

- Psalms 34:14

Unnecessary bickering doesn't solidify a connection. It causes resentment, frustration, and strain; although they may pop up from time to time in a relationship, you can't expect your relationship to stew in all of this and remain healthy. Peace, and your desire for it, should be the umbrella protecting valued relationships from life's elements. I'm sometimes guilty of choosing to go up the rough side instead of the peaceful one; that is something that's gotta change. Peace is not only to be valued, but sought after. That must mean we really need it.

Try Some Humility

It isn't only what is best for the horizontal relationships with family, friends, and significant others, but also what is best for your relationship with God.

First of all, if Christ Himself didn't think twice to humble Himself for the sake of love, then who are we?

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: 'Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking on the very nature of a servant..."

- Philippians 2:5-7

If we go back a few verses, we see:

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being on in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others."

- Philippians 2:1-4

Laying aside the "ME" in me for the sake of making the other person happy goes a long way. Treating someone that well, especially when you feel like they don't deserve it, is by no stretch of (even the most flexible) imagination an easy task. Nevertheless, it's something we are challenged to do. (Side note: This doesn't mean God intends for you to be a doormat. As His creation, you were made in His image. Don't ever forget that.

So, are you going to make it work? My challenge is to look at those important relationships in a new light. How are you going to revamp your commitment to your BFF? Your brother or sister in Christ? Your boo? The wifey?

It devastates me to even acknowledge this, but according the Christian Science Monitor, Bibi and Poldi couldn't survive this valley-period in their marriage. For his safety, poor Poldi had to be put in a completely different enclosure, due to Bibi's physical attacks (she bit a chunk out of his shell). I guess she was serious. She put him out. Call me a hopeless romantic or an eternal optimist, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Maybe they can still work it out. Not sure what the stats are on tortoise remarriage. Hmmm...

Shari Grant is a Registered Nurse in South Florida, where she was raised in a (very!) Jamaican home. Some of the loves of her life are words (both reading and writing them) and missions work. She enjoys spending time with friends and family while living for a good laugh - one that makes her belly ache and her eyes water. Her bottom line goal in life is to make the Lord smile and maybe even serve Him up a chuckle from time to time, too.