Motherhood: A Family Memoir by Jon David K. is an honest and candid paperback that narrates the story of and shares lessons learned by observing one of the most influential people in the author's life. His mother, born of a prostitute, etched out her place in the world amidst a hard road of abuse, drug addiction, drug dealing, incarceration, and raising two boys in inner city Miami, Florida.
The story begins as Jon and his
grade school classmates are given the assignment of making a family tree.
Naturally, to create a family tree, one has to dig deep. It propelled him to
ask his mother questions that were met only with vague answers. You know the
type. The "storks are responsible for flying newborn babies into expectant
families" and "beer is carbonated apple juice." As a child, his inquisitive
nature was held at bay; however, as an adult, his mother would eventually
answer his questions and unveil a history that would open the eyes of his soul.
The author describes his upbringing
in an inner city neighborhood of Miami called Liberty City centered on the
things he's gleaned from interactions with his grandmother and "crazy" mother. After
inquiring, Jon learned that his grandmother was a prostitute. Considered "the
oldest profession" in history (actually it's gardener and zoologist; see Adam
& Eve), his mother would tell him how prostitution had a bigger than usual
role in Biblical times. I wouldn't go as far as to say Ezekiel the priest
"believed in the concepts of prostitution," as Jon recounts, because Ezekiel
was instructed by God to compare Israel to a harlot in his prophetic rebuke.
Ironically, Hosea the prophet was the
one who was actually commanded to
marry a woman of harlotry as a symbol of God's love toward unfaithful Israel.
Even Jesus has a prostitute in His genealogical bloodline: Rahab, but I
digress.
At first, I was a little put off by
the lessons Jon's mother would teach him about prostitution.
Street philosophy #1: Give your date
some grocery money if you've had the pleasure of "fooling around" with her.
It's the more innocent form of prostitution, but it's prostitution nonetheless,
apparently.
Street philosophy#2: His mother laid
out all her drugs and told him about each one. She told him that he could only
try drugs in her home.
Right or wrong, his mom felt it her
duty to pass on her sordidly cultivated street knowledge to her curious son.
Jon describes the innerworkings of several forms of prostitution like "street
walking" and "escorting." I found this long and redundant, albeit informative.
I just wanted the story to kick into gear. You've got my attention now, so tell
me more about Grandma, I thought.
I found the narration clunky.
However, the compelling life story kept me reading.
One of the consequences of prostitution is unexpected pregnancies and, though some hookers recklessly choose abortion as an option, some are willing to bite the bullet and give birth to a child conceived from a night's work. Jon's grandmother was that woman. Much like Hosea the Prophet's wife, he made the tough decision to raise a child born from harlotry. This may be a case for his mother's erratic behavior. His grandmother would eventually die from alleged drug use, rumored in the streets to be a murder. This, along with many other cold realities, would mold Jon's mother into the woman she became.
Jon's story is not unlike millions of
young people across America and the world. Satan's first attack was against the
family unit: Adam and Eve. Break down the family and you can break down
communities. Break down communities and you can break down nations. Break down
nations and you have a world committed to evil. This is why Christians fuss and
fight laws and culture that appear contrary to God's word. A little compromise
here and there contributes to a bigger, uglier picture. Motherhood: A Family Memoir encapsulates
that reality into 133 soul-baring pages.
Jon alludes to his mother as "crazy."
And I can't disagree. Using a child as a drug mule is a bit "crazy." Stealing
your son's entire bank account is "crazy" (and painfully selfish). With a drug
dealer/addict in a toxic, abusive relationship raising you and your brother,
it's admirable that Jon David K became an author, actor, poet and comic book
illustrator.
It seems to be the pattern for many
people that were born in less-than-ideal conditions. Lebron James' mother would
leave him for months at a time at other people's homes. Shaquille O'Neal was
abandoned by his biological father. Eminem grew up in a trailer park. Jesus was
born in a manger where animals would drink and eat their meals. It's as if God
relishes in these bleak circumstances to show He can make "somebodies" out of
the "nobodies" of society. He does it despite your "hopeless" situation. Peace
born out of chaos. Success born out of poverty. Love born out of pain.
And a writer born out of
dysfunction, Jon's upbringing would squeeze a family memoir out of his
relentless pen. In the second half of the book, Jon spends a great deal of time
displaying the map of his own life. Jon keeps the chapters turning with the
stakes raising as he got older. He is a small pinball in the bright lights of a
pinball machine as he bounces between street life, academia, dependent, incarcerated mother,
a disabled drug-addicted father (whom he would physically confront at 13 years
of age), homelessness, cleptomaniac uncles, life in the Army, and now life as a
married man.
Though my upbringing wasn't nearly as rough, it's easy to relate when you're raised in a rough neighborhood surrounded by adults who make poor choices. Our parents are NOT perfect as Jon would conclude. They make mistakes that sometimes cause us to become bitter. Jon's mother was a bitter woman whose bitterness was inherited by her son.
Abraham, the father of many nations,
made a crucial mistake as a father. He slept with Hagar to "help" God bring the
son He had promised to Abraham. That son, Ishmael, became the father of the
Arab nations plagued by crisis after crisis. One poor decision changed history.
His son Isaac favored Esau over his other son Jacob, causing bitterness in the
bloodline. Eli the priest failed to discipline his sons. Lot committed incest
with his daughters that would create nations that were enemies of Israel. The Bible
and many people like Jon make me realize how important healthy parenting is.
Our poor decisions as parents CHANGE history. No doubt, Jon's mother left an
imprint that may have and still manifest into negative choices in Jon's life.
It's evident from his writing.
Though the chapter that closes the
story about his mother ends with her demonstrating a small step toward growth (she
buys her first purse EVER to be more "lady" like), I would have liked to learn
more about her growth. Jon treats his audience to some of his poems after the
last chapter. I'd rather those pages be dedicated to more insight on his
maternal side of the family.
In short, this is simply a family memoir. What would I have
liked as add-ons? Here's a short list:
· I would have liked to have seen a more in-depth Q&A with his mother.
· I would have liked to learn more about his grandmother; AND I wanted to know how did she ever become a prostitute?
· Where was great grandma when she made this family impacting decision? And Great-Great Grandma?
· I would like to know how Jon's mother affected his decision-making throughout his life.
·
I'd like to know how he is or plans to raise
his children today in contrast to the way his mother raised him.
Motherhood: A Family Memoir is a short read on inner city
family life in Liberty City and albeit at times somewhat disjointed, it is raw
and honest in its content. It's a small sample of life in South Florida 'hoods.
Right or wrong, to use the cliché, "it is what it is." Though his mother was
"crazy," Jon David K's life is a reminder that you don't always have to follow
in your family's footsteps though you've walked half of your life in them.
The self-proclaimed Zig Ziglar of rap,
Billy Delgado, is a Music Producer/Artist and Writer by day and sleeping
pillow-drooler by night. He is currently producing the debut album for his band
The 288's, a God-inspired Hip Hop/R&B group that combines soul-baring
lyricism with an electric innovative sound, breaking from the norm and reaching
all cultures & ages (save senior citizens). He still can't believe he's
a family man with a beautiful wife Mari & three boys Chris, Nelson and
Joshua, so he continues to pinch himself silly to this day.