Book Review: Motherhood -- in the Hood
June 13, 2012By Billy Delgado

Motherhood: A Family Memoir by Jon David K. is an honest and candid paperback that narrates the story of and shares lessons learned by observing one of the most influential people in the author's life. His mother, born of a prostitute, etched out her place in the world amidst a hard road of abuse, drug addiction, drug dealing, incarceration, and raising two boys in inner city Miami, Florida.


The story begins as Jon and his grade school classmates are given the assignment of making a family tree. Naturally, to create a family tree, one has to dig deep. It propelled him to ask his mother questions that were met only with vague answers. You know the type. The "storks are responsible for flying newborn babies into expectant families" and "beer is carbonated apple juice." As a child, his inquisitive nature was held at bay; however, as an adult, his mother would eventually answer his questions and unveil a history that would open the eyes of his soul.


The author describes his upbringing in an inner city neighborhood of Miami called Liberty City centered on the things he's gleaned from interactions with his grandmother and "crazy" mother. After inquiring, Jon learned that his grandmother was a prostitute. Considered "the oldest profession" in history (actually it's gardener and zoologist; see Adam & Eve), his mother would tell him how prostitution had a bigger than usual role in Biblical times. I wouldn't go as far as to say Ezekiel the priest "believed in the concepts of prostitution," as Jon recounts, because Ezekiel was instructed by God to compare Israel to a harlot in his prophetic rebuke.


Ironically, Hosea the prophet was the one who was actually commanded to marry a woman of harlotry as a symbol of God's love toward unfaithful Israel. Even Jesus has a prostitute in His genealogical bloodline: Rahab, but I digress.


At first, I was a little put off by the lessons Jon's mother would teach him about prostitution.


Street philosophy #1: Give your date some grocery money if you've had the pleasure of "fooling around" with her. It's the more innocent form of prostitution, but it's prostitution nonetheless, apparently.


Street philosophy#2: His mother laid out all her drugs and told him about each one. She told him that he could only try drugs in her home.


Right or wrong, his mom felt it her duty to pass on her sordidly cultivated street knowledge to her curious son. Jon describes the innerworkings of several forms of prostitution like "street walking" and "escorting." I found this long and redundant, albeit informative. I just wanted the story to kick into gear. You've got my attention now, so tell me more about Grandma, I thought.


I found the narration clunky. However, the compelling life story kept me reading.


One of the consequences of prostitution is unexpected pregnancies and, though some hookers recklessly choose abortion as an option, some are willing to bite the bullet and give birth to a child conceived from a night's work. Jon's grandmother was that woman. Much like Hosea the Prophet's wife, he made the tough decision to raise a child born from harlotry. This may be a case for his mother's erratic behavior. His grandmother would eventually die from alleged drug use, rumored in the streets to be a murder. This, along with many other cold realities, would mold Jon's mother into the woman she became.


Jon's story is not unlike millions of young people across America and the world. Satan's first attack was against the family unit: Adam and Eve. Break down the family and you can break down communities. Break down communities and you can break down nations. Break down nations and you have a world committed to evil. This is why Christians fuss and fight laws and culture that appear contrary to God's word. A little compromise here and there contributes to a bigger, uglier picture. Motherhood: A Family Memoir encapsulates that reality into 133 soul-baring pages.


Jon alludes to his mother as "crazy." And I can't disagree. Using a child as a drug mule is a bit "crazy." Stealing your son's entire bank account is "crazy" (and painfully selfish). With a drug dealer/addict in a toxic, abusive relationship raising you and your brother, it's admirable that Jon David K became an author, actor, poet and comic book illustrator.


It seems to be the pattern for many people that were born in less-than-ideal conditions. Lebron James' mother would leave him for months at a time at other people's homes. Shaquille O'Neal was abandoned by his biological father. Eminem grew up in a trailer park. Jesus was born in a manger where animals would drink and eat their meals. It's as if God relishes in these bleak circumstances to show He can make "somebodies" out of the "nobodies" of society. He does it despite your "hopeless" situation. Peace born out of chaos. Success born out of poverty. Love born out of pain.


And a writer born out of dysfunction, Jon's upbringing would squeeze a family memoir out of his relentless pen. In the second half of the book, Jon spends a great deal of time displaying the map of his own life. Jon keeps the chapters turning with the stakes raising as he got older. He is a small pinball in the bright lights of a pinball machine as he bounces between street life, academia, dependent, incarcerated mother, a disabled drug-addicted father (whom he would physically confront at 13 years of age), homelessness, cleptomaniac uncles, life in the Army, and now life as a married man.


Though my upbringing wasn't nearly as rough, it's easy to relate when you're raised in a rough neighborhood surrounded by adults who make poor choices. Our parents are NOT perfect as Jon would conclude. They make mistakes that sometimes cause us to become bitter. Jon's mother was a bitter woman whose bitterness was inherited by her son.


Abraham, the father of many nations, made a crucial mistake as a father. He slept with Hagar to "help" God bring the son He had promised to Abraham. That son, Ishmael, became the father of the Arab nations plagued by crisis after crisis. One poor decision changed history. His son Isaac favored Esau over his other son Jacob, causing bitterness in the bloodline. Eli the priest failed to discipline his sons. Lot committed incest with his daughters that would create nations that were enemies of Israel. The Bible and many people like Jon make me realize how important healthy parenting is. Our poor decisions as parents CHANGE history. No doubt, Jon's mother left an imprint that may have and still manifest into negative choices in Jon's life. It's evident from his writing.


Though the chapter that closes the story about his mother ends with her demonstrating a small step toward growth (she buys her first purse EVER to be more "lady" like), I would have liked to learn more about her growth. Jon treats his audience to some of his poems after the last chapter. I'd rather those pages be dedicated to more insight on his maternal side of the family.


In short, this is simply a family memoir. What would I have liked as add-ons? Here's a short list:


· I would have liked to have seen a more in-depth Q&A with his mother.

· I would have liked to learn more about his grandmother; AND I wanted to know how did she ever become a prostitute?

· Where was great grandma when she made this family impacting decision? And Great-Great Grandma?

· I would like to know how Jon's mother affected his decision-making throughout his life.

· I'd like to know how he is or plans to raise his children today in contrast to the way his mother raised him.


Motherhood: A Family Memoir is a short read on inner city family life in Liberty City and albeit at times somewhat disjointed, it is raw and honest in its content. It's a small sample of life in South Florida 'hoods. Right or wrong, to use the cliché, "it is what it is." Though his mother was "crazy," Jon David K's life is a reminder that you don't always have to follow in your family's footsteps though you've walked half of your life in them.




The self-proclaimed Zig Ziglar of rap, Billy Delgado, is a Music Producer/Artist and Writer by day and sleeping pillow-drooler by night. He is currently producing the debut album for his band The 288's, a God-inspired Hip Hop/R&B group that combines soul-baring lyricism with an electric innovative sound, breaking from the norm and reaching all cultures & ages (save senior citizens). He still can't believe he's a family man with a beautiful wife Mari & three boys Chris, Nelson and Joshua, so he continues to pinch himself silly to this day.






Visitor Comments (0)
Be the first to post a comment!
Loading...
Related Articles · More Articles
The public charge rule that rendered immigrants inadmissible or ineligible for green cards if they accept government assistance was overturned in September and new rule, allowing immigrants to receive food stamps, healthcare services and other government aid, took effect December 23, 2022.
This Christmas, R&B singer-writer-producer Ne-Yo, stars in the BET+ original holiday remake of “The Sound of Music" directed by Booker Mattison.
Trump is like an aging boxer well past his prime, who does not know when to quit. Yet, which political stands in the wings? I think we all know.
Back To Archives