Confessions of a 20 Something: I Rock Because...
November 11, 2010By Ana Guthrie

My head is still spinning from the zaniness that was last weekend.


It jumped off with Friday when Lauryn Hill--Ms. L. Boogie herself--performed live at the University of Miami. I took my daughter along since she's quite familiar with Mommy bellowing "That Thing! That Thing! That Thinnnnnnnnngggg!" in the car or while cooking. Lauryn Hill, I believe, is one of a handful of mainstream lyricists who deliciously webs Christianity, real life testimonies and encouragement into her music. Her concerts are so few and far between that my pals and I soaked up the experience by chanting and prancing in the moonlight.


MUSIC.


The next day I hurried over to catch the matinee showing of For Colored Girls with my book club sistren. In anticipation of the movie adaptation, this month we elected to read Ntozake Shange's "for colored girls who have considered suicide / when the rainbow is enuf." We all agreed that Tyler Perry's rendition of the choreopoem was poignant,ethereal...both provoking as well as provocative. In my thinking, this is the first that a movie has evoked in me feelings of listening to Wynton Marsalis' jazz, enjoying an Alvin Ailey dance recital and following a fencing match all at once. Each reader encountered pieces of herself in the film and the play. Without question, th eportion that spoke my story and is now burned in my memory features Juanita (played by Loretta Devine) reciting lines from the poem "no assistance:"


i want you to know
this waz an experiment
to see how selfish i cd be
if i wd really carry on to snare a possible lover
if i waz capable of debasin my self for the love of another
if i cd stand not being wanted
when i wanted to be wanted
& i cannot
so
with no further assistance & no guidance from you
i am endin this affair

this note is attached to a plant
i've been watering since the day i met you
you may water it
yr d--- self


Ironically,  I left the For Colored Girls social to literally walk to the other end of Aventura Mall where I thought I was going to join friends to wish a good sisterpal a happy b-day.I learned instead that it was all a clever ploy for her boyfriend to propose. What cynicism I felt toward romance after For Colored Girls was made up with a beautiful display of black love at Grand Lux Cafe. The entire restaurant was in on the hoax.


SATURDAY NIGHT.


MAGIC.


The weekend capped off with my discovery of just how insanely gullible I can be. On Sunday another covenant sister--feigning a major meltdown--conned me into coming to the rescue. Said "rescue" was actually my birthday bash.Shortly after I arrived, in barged dozens of girlfriends who, for whatever reason, love me...affirm me...and CELEBRATE me. We goofed, stuffed our faces, and chuckled like school girls before, at some point in the night, one sister reminded us that "Black Girls Rock"Awards show was coming on.

 

Surrounded by harmony and agape love,I watched as BET showcased the spectrum of drop-dead gorgeous, accomplished,sophisticated Black womanhood. From cute Raven Symone to legendary Ruby Dee and with ballads sung by Shontelle, Monica plus Keyshia Cole, we all marveled in the talent."I rock because..." became the evening's mantra.


I don't know whose idea it was but during the commercial breaks, my sisters in Christ each took turns stating "Ana rocks because..." and finishing the sentence with their own perspectives. Family, I was edified like I've never been before.


SANCTIFIED.


That weekend,I felt hope and gusto toward life; that day, I  lavished in my sisters' showers of blessings; and, finally, that night,I sat up in bed and penned two journal entries. I'd like to close this column with them, if you'd permit me:


Juanita: You just say, "My love is too ____," and you just fill in the blank.
Gilda: My love is too sanctified to have it thrown back on my face.
Kelly: My love is too magic to have it thrown back on my face.
Tangie: My love is too "Saturday Night" to have it thrown back on my face.
Jo: My love is too complicated to have it thrown back on my face.
Yasmine: My love is too music to have it thrown back on my face. " -

~"For Colored Girls/for colored girls" 11/06/10 


I, Ana, rock because...

God loves me in spite of my being a nucklehead

Jesus Christ died on the cross for my sins

It's not anything that I do so great, but God has given me many savory gifts

I will live life generously, whimsically, adventurously and, yes, COLORFULLY

I must be the type of contagious Christian that sparks to taste and see that the Lord is good.

~written on 11/07/10


 
Ana Guthrie is a super cool chick with a heart for God and love for youth culture. She doubles as a not-so-naughty librarian and instructor at Florida Memorial University in Miami, Florida.

 



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